Hamaguma at the DMV.

Hamaguma at the DMV.
Pauly Hart
Feb 28, 2014

A fully loaded tractor-trailer with hot brakes take how long to come to a complete stop at 55 mph? 400 feet.

What is the amount of weight can a person with a chauffeur's license operate? 16,000-26,000 pounds.

All this and more can be yours for the price of showing some important paperwork and asking to get a new Operators Drivers Licence in Indiana. Yesterday, I went in to take my test. I didn't study. I didn't care. I thought I knew all the answers to the test just off the top of my head. Dear Lord God, was I ever wrong.

What is the maximum individual axle weight? 20,000 pounds.

I walked in two days ago, punched the screen for a number, sat around itching and farting just like the rest of humanity until my number was called and found out the information that I needed to take the test. She handed me a booklet in white form with the BMV logo in a Urine Yellow and Old Man Navy with the ever catchy logo underneath in embolded letters: DRIVE TO SERVE.

And I took absolutly no time looking that up and reading it. Such was my arrogance at my knowledge level towards the test. I've been driving for more than half of my life all over these great United States and drove every road three or four times when I lived on St. Croix, USVI in the Caribbean... The island is only 23 miles long and 8 miles wide. So I KNOW how to drive. What I didn't know is that I would have to rely on Non-Euclidean Prime Chaos Theory and Hydrodynamic Trigonometry.

When not on an interstate highway, what is the maximum speed for a school bus? 40 MPH.

So to my surprise, I arrive and find a dollar bill floating around the asphalt, walk in and a man hands me five dollars for my lunch... This was God's joke on me telling me that I was going to fail I think, for I was happy until I missed too many questions and failed.

What is the difference in a school zone sign and pedestrian sign? A school zone sign has two people on it, while a pedestrian sign has one.

And it's ok that I failed. I wasn't really thinking that I was going to pass after looking at the questions on the test, sweating bullets and then doing the whole "Rule-Out" scenario. It was multiple choice. An example question would have been:

What is the only pennant-shaped traffic sign?

A) No U-Turn
B) No Passing Zone
C) Flagger Ahead
D) Pedestrian Crossing

Where the answer is NOT C, I would cross that one out. I would cross out A as well and then choose D but would be wrong because the answer was B. I SWEAR I have never seen a "No-Passing Zone" Sign, but on the ride home I looked and they were everywhere... They just install them BACKWARDS on your side of the road so if you really really really want to see one, you have to look on the other side of the road. But why do that, when you can just read the Morse-Code of the road and see that the yellow lines go da-da-da-da-doooooooooooo where the broken yellow turns into a solid. THAT is where they post those evil pendants. Go team.

When you enter a roundabout or a circular intersection, you must proceed: In a counter-clockwise direction. This one actually got me. I always start my "Clockwise" at noon and "Go to the right", but on a roundabout you should always enter on the six... so you GO RIGHT, but it is "Counter Clockwise". So... you can see my confusion now, because you are trying to figure it out now aren't you?

And so I walk up to the lady, hand in my test and wait...

and wait...

and then: "Paul?"


"You missed one too many..."

I turned back to my wife, threw up my Peacock Spider Touchdown Arms and said loudly: "FAIL!" She and I laughed as we walked out the door to go spend our six dollars at Burger King where the lady handed us 2 Carmal Sundays After ordering two Caramel Sundaes and told us to "HAMAGUMA" which I took to mean: "Have a good one." And so I shall. I am headed back to take the test this morning... Gonna Hamaguma.

Fukushima Feb 2014 Update

True facts about Ocean Radiation and the Fukushima Disaster

from here

On March 11th, 2011 the Tōhoku earthquake and resulting tsunami wreaked havoc on Japan. It also resulted in the largest nuclear disaster since Chernobyl when the tsunami damaged the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant. Radioactive particles were released into the atmosphere and ocean, contaminating groundwater, soil and seawater which effectively closed local Japanese fisheries.

Rather unfortunately, it has also led to some wild speculation on the widespread dangers of Fukushima radiation on the internet. Posts with titles like “Holy Fukushima – Radiation From Japan Is Already Killing North Americans” and ”28 Signs That The West Coast Is Being Absolutely Fried With Nuclear Radiation From Fukushima” (which Southern Fried Science has already throughly debunked ) keep popping up on my facebook feed from well-meaning friends.

I’m here to tell you that these posts are just plain garbage. While there are terrible things that happened around the Fukushima Power Plant in Japan; Alaska, Hawaii and the West Coast aren’t in any danger. These posts were meant to scare people (and possibly written by terrified authors). They did just that, but there is a severe lack of facts in these posts. Which is why I am here to give you the facts, and nothing but the facts.

The radioactive rods in the Fukushima power plant are usually cooled by seawater [CORRECTION: they are usually cooled by freshwater. As a last ditch emergency effort at Fukushima seawater was used as a coolant.]. The double whammy of an earthquake and a tsunami pretty much released a shitstorm of badness: the power went out, meltdown started and eventually the radioactive cooling seawater started leaking (and was also intentionally released) into the ocean. Radioactive isotopes were also released into the air and were absorbed by the ocean when they rained down upon it. These two pathways introduced mostly Iodine-131, Cesium-137, and Cesium-134, but also a sprinkling of Tellurium, Uranium and Strontium to the area surrounding the power plant.

There aren’t great estimates of how much of each of these isotopes were released into the ocean since TEPCO, the company that owns the power plant hasn’t exactly been forthcoming with information, but the current estimates are around 538,100 terabecquerels (TBq) which is above Three-Mile Island levels, but below Chernobyl levels. And as it turns out, they recently found contaminated groundwater has also started leaking into the sea. TEPCO, the gift that keeps on giving.

Units of Radiation are confusing. When you start reading the news/literature/blogs, there are what seems like a billion different units to explain radiation. But fear not, I’ve listed them below and what they mean (SI units first).

Becquerel[Bq] or Curie[Ci]: radiation emitted from a radioactive material (1 Ci = 3.7 × 1010 Bq)

Gray [Gy] or Rad[rad]: radiation absorbed by another material (1Gy = 100 rad)

Sieverts[Sv]* or “roentgen equivalent in man”[rem]: how badly radiation will damage biological tissue (1 Sv = 100 rem)

You can convert from Grays and Rads to Rem and Sieverts, but you have to know what kind of radiation it is. For example alpha radiation from naturally occurring Polonium-210 is more damaging to biological tissues than gamma radiation from Cesium-137. Even if you absorbed the same number of Grays from Cesium or Polonium, you would still effectively receive more damaging radiation from Polonium because the number of Sieverts is higher for Polonium than Cesium. And kids, Sieverts and Seavers are both dangerous to your health but please don’t confuse them.

Cesium-137 is product of nuclear fission. Before us humans, there was no Cesium-137 on earth. But then we started blowing stuff up with nuclear bombs and VOILA!, there are now detectable, but safe, levels of Cesium-137 in all the world oceans.

There are a bunch of maps being thrown around on the internet as evidence that we are all going to die from Fukushima radiation. I’m going to dissect them here. Apologies in advance for dose of snark in this section because some of these claims are just god awful. Spoiler: radiation probably has reached the West Coast but it’s not dangerous.
MAP OF TERROR #1: The Rays of Radioactive Death!

[source: http://www.enviroreporter.com/investigations/fukushima/a-radioactive-nightmare/]This is not a map of Fukushima Radiation spreading across the Pacific. This is a map of the estimated maximum wave heights of the Japanese Tohuku Tsunami by modelers at NOAA. In fact, tsunamis don’t even transport particles horizontally in the deep ocean. So there is no way a Tsunami could even spread radiation (except maybe locally at scales of several miles as the wave breaks onshore). Dear VC reporter, I regret to inform you this cover image could be the poster child for the importance of journalistic fact-checking for years to come.


I mean I guess this is a bit better. At least this map used an ocean model that actually predicts where radioactive particles will be pushed around by surface ocean currents. But it still gets a BIG FAT FAIL. The engineering company that put this image/piece of crap out there couldn’t even be bothered to put a legend on the map. Their disclaimer says “THIS IS NOT A REPRESENTATION OF THE RADIOACTIVE PLUME CONCENTRATION.” Then what do the colors mean?

It’s true, oceanographic models have shown that radiation from Fukushima has probably already hit Aleutians and Hawaiian Island chain, and should reach the California Coast by Fall 2014 [Behrens et al. 2012]. The map above is showing the spread of Cesium-137 from the Fukushima reactor would look like right now, I mean radiation is apparently EVERYWHERE! But what is missing from most of the discussion of these maps is what the colors ACTUALLY mean.

We shall now seek guidance from the little box in the upper right hand corner of the map called the legend**. The colors show how much less radioactive the the decrease in the radioactive concentrations of Cesium-137 isotopes have become since being emitted from Fukushima. For example, the red areas indicate the Fukushima Cesium-137 is now more than 10,000 times less radioactive concentrated than when released. The California Coast, more than a million times less. The punchline is that overall concentrations of radioactive isotopes and therefore radioactivity in the Pacific will increase from Pre-Fukushima levels, but it will be way less than what was seen in coastal Japan and definitely not enough to be harmful elsewhere (we’ll get to more of that later).

** As Eve Rickert has thoughtfully pointed out, my description of the image is a little confusing. I’ve added corrections in blue to clarify.

Practically, what does ten thousand or a million times less radiation mean? It means that these models estimate the West Coast and the Aleutians will see radiation levels anywhere from 1-20 Bq/m3,while Hawaiian Islands could see up to 30 Bq/m3 [Behrens et al. 2012, Nakano et al. 2012, Rossi et al. 2013 ].

I could write a small novel explaining why the numbers differ between the models. For those that love the details, here’s a laundry list of those differences: the amount of radiation initially injected into the ocean, the length of time it took to inject the radiation (slowly seeping or one big dump), the physics embedded in the model, the background ocean state, the number of 20-count shrimp per square mile (Just kidding!), atmospheric forcing, inter-annual and multi-decadal variability and even whether atmospheric deposition was incorporated into the model.

Like I said before, the West Coast will probably not see more than 20 Bq/m3 of radiation. Compare these values to the map of background radiation of Cesium-137 in the ocean before Fukushima (from 1990), it’s only 4 Bq/m3 in the Pacific. Radiation will increase in the Pacific, but it’s at most 10 times higher than previous levels, not thousands. Although looking at this map I would probably stop eating Baltic Herring fish oil pills and Black Sea Caviar (that radiation is from Chernobyl) before ending the consumption of fish from the Pacific Ocean.

[source: http://www.whoi.edu/page.do?pid=83397&tid=3622&cid=94989]

No it will not be dangerous. Even within 300 km of Fukushima, the additional radiation that was introduced by the Cesium-137 fallout is still well below the background radiation levels from naturally occurring radioisotopes. By the time those radioactive atoms make their way to the West Coast it will be even more diluted and therefore not dangerous at all.

It’s not even dangerous to swim off the coast of Fukushima. Buessler et al. figured out how much radiation damage you would get if you doggie paddled about Fukushima (Yes, science has given us radioactive models of human swimmers). It was less than 0.03% of the daily radiation an average Japanese resident receives. Tiny! Hell, the radiation was so small even immediately after the accident scientists did not wear any special equipment to handle the seawater samples (but they did wear detectors just in case). If you want danger, you’re better off licking the dial on an old-school glow in the dark watch.

For the most part the answer is YES. Some fisheries in Japan are still closed because of radioactive contamination. Bottom fish are especially prone to contamination because the fallout collects on the seafloor where they live. Contaminated fish shouldn’t be making it to your grocery store, but I can’t guarantee that so if you are worried just eat fish from somewhere other than Japan.

Fish from the rest of the Pacific are safe. To say it mildly, most fish are kinda lazy. They really don’t travel that far so when you catch a Mahi Mahi off the coast of Hawaii its only going to be as contaminated as the water there, which isn’t very much.Hyperactive fish, such as tuna may be more radioactive than local lazy fish because they migrate so far. As Miriam pointed out in this post, there is a detectable increase of radiation in tuna because they were at one point closer to Fukushima, but the levels are not hazardous.

To alleviate fears that you may be glowing due to ingestion too many visits to your local sushi joint, Fischer et al. figured out exactly how much damaging radiation you would receive from eating a tower of tuna rolls. Seriously. Science is just that awesome. Supermarket tuna hunters would receive 0.9 μSv of radiation, while the outdoors subsistence tuna hunter would receive 4.7 μSv. These values are about the same or a little less than the amount a person receives from natural sources.

To put 0.9 μSv of radiation in perspective check out this awesome graph of radiation by xkcd. You’ll get the same amount of radiation by eating 9 bananas. Monkeys might be doomed, but you are not.

I hope this list of facts has answered most of your questions and convinced you the Pacific and its inhabitants will not be fried by radiation from Fukushima. I certainly feel safe eating sustainable seafood from the Pacific and so should you. If you are still unsure, please feel free to ask questions in the comments section below.

There’s been a lot of discussion in the comments about the contribution from the groundwater leaks. I did some homework and here’s what I came up with. (Also thanks to everyone for the interesting discussions in the comments!)

The ground water leaks are in fact problematic, but what has been released into the ocean is MUCH less than the initial release (although I admit the groundwater itself has extremely high radiation levels). The estimates from Jota Kanda are that 0.3 TBq per month (1012 Bq) of contaminated groundwater is leaking into the ocean, which has added another 9.6 TBq of radiation into the sea at most. The initial releases were about 16.2 PBq (1015 Bq), about 1500 times more radiation. With this in mind, the additional radioactivity leak from ground water isn’t a relatively large addition to the ocean.

The models by Behrens and Rossi used initial source functions of 10 PBq and 22 PBq, which is on par with the most recent estimates. Since their models used a much higher source function, that says to me that this relatively smaller input from groundwater still won’t raise the radioactivity to dangerous levels on the West Coast, Alaska and Hawaii. Recent observations around Hawaii by Kamenik et al. also suggest that the models may have even overestimated the amount of radiation that hit Hawaii, which is good news.

But there are caveats to this information as well. The leaking groundwater contains strontium and tritium which are more problematic than Cesium-137. But it sounds like strontium accumulates in bones and is only a problem if you eat small fish with the bones in, like sardines (and it will only affect sardines caught near Japan since they don’t travel far). I suspect there might be some precedent for understanding the dangers of tritium in seawater from the 20th century nuclear testing in atolls, but I really don’t know. There is also 95 TBq of radioactive cesium is in the sediment around Fukushima, which is still super problematic for bottom dwelling fish and therefore local Japanese Fisheries. Lastly, another source is terrestrial runoff. These numbers haven’t been quantified but they are probably minor because they contain a fraction of the total deposition from atmospheric fallout, which itself was a fraction of what was released into the ocean.

So even with the new groundwater leaks, the available evidence still tells me I can eat fish from the West Coast, Hawaii, and Alaska.




For more in depth articles about radiation from Fukushima in the ocean you should definitely check out some of Marine Chemist’s Posts at Daily Kos. Written by Jay T. Cullen, a Marine Chemist at the University of Victoria, the posts walk you through the most current research on Fukushima Radiation from a variety of sources. I especially recommend his most recent post on Update on Fukushima Radionuclides in the North Pacific and Off the West Coast of North America, were he discusses the recent detection of Fukushima radiation off the coast of Canada. The most recent observations from June 2013 shows the spread of Cesium-137 was on par with the predictions by Rossi et al., but the concentrations are safe and lower than predicted.

[DISCLAIMER: The creators of the NOAA tsunami map work in my building. I secretly fangirl squeal when I walk past their offices. I recently had coffee with Joke F. Lübbecke, who also works in my building. It was caffeinated.]

*Confusingly, oceanographers also co-opted the acronym Sv for Sverdrups their unit for volume transport. 1 Sverdrup = 1 Sv = one million cubic metres per second = 400 Olympic swimming pools just passed your house in one second.

Behrens, Erik, et al. “Model simulations on the long-term dispersal of 137Cs released into the Pacific Ocean off Fukushima.” Environmental Research Letters 7.3 (2012): 034004.

Buesseler, Ken O., et al. “Fukushima-derived radionuclides in the ocean and biota off Japan.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 109.16 (2012): 5984-5988.

Fisher, Nicholas S., et al. “Evaluation of radiation doses and associated risk from the Fukushima nuclear accident to marine biota and human consumers of seafood.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (2013).

Nakano, Masanao, and Pavel P. Povinec. “Long-term simulations of the 137 Cs dispersion from the Fukushima accident in the world ocean.“ Journal of environmental radioactivity 111 (2012): 109-115.

Rossi, Vincent, et al. “Multi-decadal projections of surface and interior pathways of the Fukushima Cesium-137 radioactive plume.“ Deep Sea Research Part I: Oceanographic Research Papers (2013).

Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution FAQ: Radiation from Fukushima

Explained: rad, rem, sieverts, becquerelsl. A guide to terminology about radiation exposure

My First Cavity Search

The Pope and Kenneth Copeland

We are galloping toward a one-world melding of religions, and the ramifications are staggering. Pope Francis has now sent a video message to Word of Faith father Kenneth Copeland, urging a reconciliation between Catholics and Charismatics.

Is Pope Francis taking steps that are laying the groundwork for the emergence of a one world religion? If that question sounds quite bizarre to you, I urge you to read the rest of this article. We live at a time when globalization is advancing rapidly. The global economy is more integrated than it has ever been before, and with each passing year new economic treaties tie us even more closely together. And “global governance” (as the elite like to call it) is also steadily gaining ground. 

Image: Pope Francis (Wikimedia Commons).

Through a whole host of global institutions such as the United Nations, the World Bank, the IMF and the Bank for International Settlements, global governments are working together to a degree that is unprecedented. Well, what about religion? Is there evidence that we are also witnessing the globalization of religion? Well, yes there is. In fact, it appears that Pope Francis intends to lead the way.

Since he has been Pope, Francis has expressed a desire for unity with the Eastern Orthodox, the Anglicans, and many other major Protestant denominations. But more than a few eyebrows were raised when he recently sent a video message to Kenneth Copeland and his congregation. At the time that the video message was played to the congregation, one speaker declared that “Luther’s protest is over”

“The Catholic and Charismatic Renewal is the hope of the Church,” exclaims Anglican Episcopal Bishop Tony Palmer, before a group of cheering followers at the Kenneth Copeland Ministries. Palmer said those words are from the Vatican. Before playing the video message from Pope Francis to Kenneth Copeland, Palmer told the crowd, “When my wife saw that she could be Catholic, and Charismatic, and Evangelical, and Pentecostal, and it was absolutely accepted in the Catholic Church, she said that she would like to reconnect her roots with the Catholic culture. So she did.”

The crowd cheered, as he continued, “Brothers and sisters,Luther’s protest is over. Is yours?”

Even Kenneth Copeland finds this development incredible: Said Copeland, “Heaven is thrilled over this…You know what is so thrilling to me? When we went into the ministry 47 years ago,this was impossible.”

You can see video from this conference right here.

So is Luther’s protest really over?

During the Council of Trent, the Catholics condemned to hell anyone that believes in salvation through faith in Jesus alone. This is a direct quote from the Council of Trent…

“If any one saith, that by faith alone the impious is justified; in such wise as to mean, that nothing else is required to co-operate in order to the obtaining the grace of Justification, and that it is not in any way necessary, that he be prepared and disposed by the movement of his own will; let him be anathema“

The Catholics have never renounced that stand. Instead, it has been reaffirmed many times over the years.

If Pope Francis really did want to reach out to Protestants, he should start by reversing the Council of Trent on this. As it stands, it is official Catholic doctrine that all Protestants are anathema.

But apparently that is not going to stop many Protestants from reuniting with Rome and declaring Francis to be “their Pope”.

Meanwhile, Pope Francis has also been aggressively courting Muslims. The following quote from Pope Francis comes from remarks that he made during his very first ecumenical meeting

I then greet and cordially thank you all, dear friends belonging to other religious traditions; first of all the Muslims, who worship the one God, living and merciful, and call upon Him in prayer, and all of you. I really appreciate your presence: in it I see a tangible sign of the will to grow in mutual esteem and cooperation for the common good of humanity.

The Catholic Church is aware of the importance of promoting friendship and respect between men and women of different religious traditions – I wish to repeat this: promoting friendship and respect between men and women of different religious traditions – it also attests the valuable work that the Pontifical Council for interreligious dialogue performs.

Did you catch that?

Apparently Pope Francis believes that Catholics and Muslims worship the same God.

More recently, Francis made the following statement about Muslims…

“We must never forget that they ‘profess to hold the faith of Abraham, and together with us they adore the one, merciful God, who will judge humanity on the last day.’”


By making this statement, Pope Francis is rejecting another of the most fundamental doctrines of the Christian faith.

You see, Christians believe that Jesus Christ is God.

Muslims hate this doctrine and say that there is no god but Allah.

So how in the world can Christians and Muslims worship the same God?

The only way that you could say this is if you deny the deity of Jesus Christ.

For much more on why “Allah” and the God of Christianity are not the same, please see this article.

Of course when it comes to other religions, Francis is not just reaching out to the Muslims. During the same ecumenical meeting that I referenced above, he made it a point to say that he feels “close” to those that belong “to any religious tradition”…

In this, we feel close even to all those men and women who, whilst not recognizing themselves belonging to any religious tradition, feel themselves nevertheless to be in search of truth, goodness and beauty, this truth, goodness and beauty of God, and who are our precious allies in efforts to defend the dignity of man, in building a peaceful coexistence among peoples and in guarding Creation carefully.

And Francis really raised some eyebrows when he made the following statement about atheists

“The Lord created us in His image and likeness, and we are the image of the Lord, and He does good and all of us have this commandment at heart: do good and do not do evil. All of us. ‘But, Father, this is not Catholic! He cannot do good.’ Yes, he can… The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ: all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone! ‘Father, the atheists?’ Even the atheists. Everyone!.. We must meet one another doing good. ‘But I don’t believe, Father, I am an atheist!’ But do good: we will meet one another there.”

There was a lot of debate about what Francis meant by that, and the Vatican issued a statement declaring that Catholic doctrine on these matters had not changed, but without a doubt a lot of people were troubled by this.

In addition, a lot of people were really troubled when the Vatican offered “indulgences” to those that would follow Pope Francis on Twitter. The following is an excerpt from an article that appeared in the Telegraph

Salvation – or at least a shorter stay in Purgatory – might now be only a tweet away with news that Pope Francis is to offer “indulgences” – remissions for temporary punishment – to the faithful who follow him on the social media site.

Around 1.5 million are expected to flock to Rio de Janeiro to celebrate World Youth Day with the Argentine pontiff later this month. But for those who can’t make it to Brazil, forgiveness may be available to contrite sinners who follow Francis’s progress via their TV screen or social networks.

The Sacred Apostolic Penitentiary, the Vatican court that rules on the forgiveness of sins, has said that indulgences may be given to those who follow the “rites and pious exercises” of the event on television, radio and through social media.

So what does Pope Francis actually believe?

That is a very good question.

His beliefs do not appear to be very consistent at all. He just seems to have an overwhelming desire to “unite” with everyone out there that has any kind of religious faith.

But we do know one kind of people that he does not like. He does not like “ideological Christians” that take their faith very seriously

“In ideologies there is not Jesus: in his tenderness, his love, his meekness. And ideologies are rigid, always. Of every sign: rigid. And when a Christian becomes a disciple of the ideology, he has lost the faith: he is no longer a disciple of Jesus, he is a disciple of this attitude of thought… For this reason Jesus said to them: ‘You have taken away the key of knowledge.’ The knowledge of Jesus is transformed into an ideological and also moralistic knowledge, because these close the door with many requirements. The faith becomes ideology and ideology frightens, ideology chases away the people, distances, distances the people and distances of the Church of the people. But it is a serious illness, this of ideological Christians. It is an illness, but it is not new, eh?”

So what is going to come of all this?

It will be very interesting to watch.

It is also interesting to note that there is a 900-year-old prophecy that seems to indicate that Pope Francis could be the last Pope. If that prophecy is accurate, then we could very well be living at a time when we will see the emergence of a one world religion.

Just a few short decades ago, a one world religion would have been absolutely unthinkable.

But now the pieces are starting to come together, and it will be very interesting to see what happens next.

Stephen King, Wizard and Glass, Blaine and the Deer

Two or three hundred wheels outside Candleton, as one traveled along the Path of the
Beam, the radiation levels and concentrations of DEP3 in the soil fell rapidly. Here the
mono's track swooped down to less than ten feet off the ground, and here a doe that looked
almost normal walked prettily from piney woods to drink from a stream in which the water
had three-quarters cleansed itself.

The doe was not normal—a stumpish fifth leg dangled down from thecenter of her lower
belly like a teat, waggling bonelessly to and fro when she walked, and a blind third eye
peered milkily from the left side of her muzzle. Yet she was fertile, and her DNA was in
reasonably good order for a twelfth-generation mutie. In her six years of life she had given
birthto three live young. Two of these fawns had been not just viable but
nor- mal—threaded stock, Aunt Talitha of River Crossing would have called them. The
third, a skinless, bawling horror, had been killed quickly by its sire.

 The world—this part of it, at any rate—had begun to heal itself.

 The deer slipped her mouth into the water, began to drink, then looked up, eyes wide,
muzzle dripping. Off in the distance she could hear a low humming sound. A moment later
it was joined by an eyelash of light. Alarm flared in the doe's nerves, but although her
reflexes were fast and the light when first glimpsed was still many wheels away across
the desolate countryside, there was never a chance for her to escape. Before she could even
begin to fire her muscles, the distant spark had swelled to a searing wolf's eye of light that
flooded the stream and the clearing with its glare. With the light came the maddening hum
of Blaine's slo-trans engines, running at full capacity. There was a blur of pink above the
concrete ridge which bore the rail; a rooster-tail of dust, stones, small dismembered
animals, and whirling foliage followed along after. The doe was killed instantly by the
concussion of Blaine's passage. Too large to be sucked in the mono's wake, she was still
yanked forward almost seventy yards, with water dripping from her muzzle and hoofs.
Much of her hide (and the boneless fifth leg) was torn from her body and pulled after Blaine
like a discarded garment.

There was brief silence, thin as new skin or early ice on a Year's End pond, and then the
sonic boom came rushing after like some noisy creature late for a wedding-feast, tearing
the silence apart, knocking a single mutated bird—it might have been a raven—dead out of
the air. The bird fell like a stone and splashed into the stream.

In the distance, a dwindling red eye: Blaine's taillight.

not a drop

a journal entry - not a drop - day 3

by Pauly Hart

yesterday, the day before and today i have been bathing with a sponge, washing my hands from a bucket, and cooking and brushing my teeth with bottled water. this is due to the fact that somewhere, somehow, there is no water flowing into my house. there was water flowing into my house literally, before i took possession of it. it was flowing in and all around the basement. my agent found that out. she called everyone that she could: including the sellers agent and nothing happened. so, she called the county sheriff, who called the water department, who came and shut it off. this was good... usually the pool goes outside the house. so the sellers agent, after a couple of days of procrastination, calls the seller (who is a bank) and the bank calls her back and tells her to go fix it or get fired, so she calls a plumber who then in turn comes and installs a new cut-off valve where the leak was. cool.

so we take possession of this quaint little 1800 square foot house in an adjoining county to tippecanoe county, where we have just recently moved from, which is the home of lafayette, which is in indiana, which we moved to from tulsa, coincidentally located in tulsa county, which is obviously in oklahoma. and here i sit. very stinky. for two days ago i was packing at the old house and my wife was at the new house (where we are now) and she was having a conversation with the water department that went something along the lines of "ok ma'm your water is on from the street, but i have no clue why it is not on inside your house so you have a nice day now goodbye." which is all very fine and and good if my wife happened to be a plumber. the last time i checked, she does not plum.

which leads to a very disturbing text that was sent to me. which leads to my heavy heart whilst packing, which led nowhere, because packing took priority and i had a u-haul to fill. so i am packing and she has returned and i have just spend most of the day filling the seventeen foot uhaul by myself with help from her putting things in boxes. our only challenge was our couch. well... that and the three inches of snow that fell while i was packing... when it came time to finally put the couch in the truck i knew that she would not be good for it, so we got as far as we could... knowing that God would do something cool, because He usually does stuff like that to me all the time. a guy and a gal were walking by and i had a weird feeling that i should ask him to help us, and lo and behold it was one of jennifers friends: the great x-ray. seriously, the guys name is xavier ray. and i want to pay him when he's done, but he turns down the offer of abraham and is on his way. but i think the point of this paragraph was to tell you of the trials and tribulations of me trying to get packed when water was on jennifers mind and i am telling her that packing is a priority over water at this point and she gives me the fire-eyes and says: IS IT to which i melt away from the burning sensation and continue to pack on my own.

and we then at the new place. and our neighbor sam is helping me dig thru the snow and open up the water cap and peer down at the meter in the dark with a flashlight, a couple of shovels and some questions. ok. the valve is set to the on position... the meter is not moving... both valves in the house are on? oh yeah. jennifer has a heart-attack almost trying to call the world about where the shut-off valve is to the house while all the while downloading a .pdf from the inspector and it's there on page 45 showing that it is up against the wall, in the crawlspace, behind where the main T is for the sewer connect. and so rock-paper-scissors... even though i won... and i am crawling back in there verifying that it is on... is it on? i yell... NOOO i hear back... is it on? i yell... NOOO i hear back... is it on? i yell... NOOO i hear back - and so it goes, no water. yes sam, there is no water, and so sam puts the cap back on the thinggy and the other thinggy back on the top thinggy and leaves me with a five gallon of water and the best wishes, because he and his wife are pretty cool people, and i even give them a tour of our pretty unique dark wooded pocket doors and hand carved pillers and they are like: oh you really got a great deal.

but there is no water today. i spent all that night unloading the trailer while i sent my wife to bed. that nice ramp came in handy. total move time for me? fifteen hours. no big deal right? well tell that to my muscles. they yelled at me all day yesterday. so, ring, ring, hello? yes, come over! here is our agent crawling around there yesterday and she couldn't figure it out... leftie loosie and rightie tightie, we brought a heater down there to try to warm it up... maybe it is frozen we think. but in the end i believe that there is naught we can do but shell out the money ourselves and hire a plumber who will either lay hands on it and a miracle will happen or just dig up my backyard and repair a crack from the water main at the street to where it comes into our house... but i am still of the opinion that it is frozen from the street to our house, but what do i really know anyway, i am tired, my hands are gross, my feet stink, my pits and crotch have some sort of jungle-party happening, there is a pile of dishes beginning that will probably become some monstrosity, and i have just used the last of the five gallon bucket to flush a morning bowel movement...

and my friend asked on facebook a couple of days ago: is running water a need or a want? to which i still have my answer: it is not a need still... but the price of working so hard to get fresh water for all of the daily tasks that i have make it probably number one on my convenience list. so if i divided up all the things in my life into the "need, want and desire" categories? if water is in the need category, then running water is at the top of the charts of the want category. i would like to lie (still) and say that it is a need, but it's not. you can always haul water... it takes a lot of time. too much time for me i say. so all i can do is wait until the plumber is called and in the mean time? be meek and inventive... oh look, we just had another two inches come down last night. with the world still quiet, i will now take all the plastic tubs outside and harvest snow. i figure 80 pounds ought to do it for the next couple of days.

one day, when i look back and this and laugh, i hope to do so... while taking a long, hot shower.

-pauly hart, near the end of the winter of 2014.

I need a new book title

here is a short little teaser. this title just sucks!
I have compiled another book of poetry, prose and science-fiction and other stuff but am in desperate need of a new title.

please help me.


Here are the Choices

Unintended Creativity
Poof! Spontaneous book
The Tales of the Night Clerk
PH Balanced - The Collection
The Broken Pencil
Occulta Canit Ingenia

coke is it

superbowl coke ad? what ad?

oh THAT ad. let me go watch it again.

and research.

doing some of my own research on the coke ad that played at that american football event recently.

it was an ad where "america the beautiful" was sung in different languages.

in my research i realized that the music originally written by david dickson was called "o mother dear, jerusalem" and that the lyricist katharine lee bates may have been a closet lesbian.

the only reason that it made me mad was from a musical standpoint when corporations shit all over the little guy.  they had changed the words of the original song into "other words". coke - a mega huge corporation had disgraced this musical compilation and never gave credit or paid royalties to the descendants of either person.

so again:

i am not mad over the languages used.
i am not mad there were men holding hands.
i am not mad about brown sparkling sugar water at all.

what i am mad about is that they didn't tip their hat to the artist, even though at :39 seconds in they say "coke, coca-cola, open happiness, and the contour bottle design are all registered trademarks of the coca-cola company." and then at the end #americaisbeautiful

so, i'm mad sure... but not for the popular pesky reasons.

Are "want's" evil?

Facebook question:

Are "want's" evil?


yep. god wants us poor, penniless, and without any possessions. material things are evil. thats why the psalmist says, "the Lord is my shepherd, i shall not want"......... any desire for a "thing" comes from the realm of the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. AND of course, we are supposed to seek HIS FACE not His HAND or "blessing" right? i mean, God doesnt want us to be blessed does He? that would surely corrupt us, right?

Pauly Hart:

well while i would agree with some of this, the skew throws me off and the last part throws me for a loop. blessing has nothing to do with material objects, but they do come in handy from time to time. Jesus did tell us that we are blessed when we are poor but He also taught us to pray about our daily physical concerns and not to worry about tomorrow... so i would say that since it is more difficult for the rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven, i would choose poorer than richer for my spiritual self. i do believe that God wants us poor, but not in the penniless sense, and i do not think there is anything wrong with a few possessions. the correct translation of psalm 23:1 is: "A Psalm of David - The Lord is my shepherd, I will not (decrease/be lowered/be empty)." so... "WANT" is not that last word at all... sure i don't mind having what i need DAILY, for He is my shepherd, i won't be empty... but "wanting" is wonderful. i think everyone should "want" something, for it is just a desire to posses. it just depends on what you desire.

Pitbull: newest song is theft

Pitbull and Christina Aguilera Sample A-ha's 'Take On Me'... and that's all the talent they have.

Pitbull has teamed up with Christina Aguilera to interpolate a pop classic on "Feel This Moment," a new song from the singer's upcoming studio set "Global Warming." A 97-second snippet of the track, which snatches the instantly recognizable synth riff from a-ha's "Take On Me," hit the Web on Monday (Oct. 22).
"Baby, we can parlay/Or baby, we can part-ay!" Thanks A-Ha for the only talent on this track.

Mr. 305 raps before Xtina's gorgeous pipes swoop in to handle the hook. "Feel This Moment" is structured an awful lot like "Get It Started," Pitbull's recent single with Shakira that will also appear on "Global Warming," although the verse-chorus combination is bookended by a juiced-up version of the "Take On Me" riff here. So, again... not really it's own song.

The "Feel This Moment" snippet is the fourth taste of Pitbull's follow-up to last year's "Planet Pit," due out Nov. 19, following his "Men in Black 3" anthem "Back in Time," the aforementioned "Get It Started" and "Don't Stop The Party" featuring TJR. While Pitbull drew inspiration from the 80s for "Feel This Moment," the rapper went back further in time -- to 1956 -- for "Back in Time," which samples Mickey & Sylvia's "Love is Strange."

Aguilera also has an album coming out on RCA Records next month, with "Lotus" hitting stores on Nov. 9. Lead single "Your Body" skipped up to No. 58 on last week's Hot 100.

It will be pretty soon that Pitbull goes the way of Sean Combs. One day, even Bono won't hug him.

Would you like to hear really good music?